quinta-feira, setembro 30, 2004

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Rebuscando nos meus canhenhos, encontrei um texto de ficção que pretendia vaticinar o desempenho dos futebolistas lusos, no Mundial de má memória de 2002. Serve o "textículo" para compensar a falta de inspiração que me atacou nos últimos tempos, assim como para ilustrar uma rara ocorrência em que a realidade ficou anos-luz atrás da ficção. Desnecessário será lembrar que os ditos atletas vieram para casa ao fim de 3 jogos, não sem antes terem protagonizado o burlesco episódio do "soco no árbitro".
Perdoai-lhes, senhor, que eles não sabem o que escrevem...

O mago da bola de Cautchu

Tive um sonho a noite passada. Com números. Foi assim:

Deambulando por uma vila de Vagos mítica, envolta em denso nevoeiro, passo por uma janela onde se podia ver um letreiro com os seguintes dizeres:
PROFESSOR
MURTA KARMA
Licenciado em aritmomancia
Resultados desportivos
Totobola
Previsões para toda a época
Descontos especiais para grupo

Ferido pela curiosidade, resolvi-me a entrar. No vestíbulo, encontrei uma senhora idosa que me levantou os olhos ensonados e baços, pigarreou e disse sibilantemente em sotaque brasileiro: “O Professor Karma já vem. Murta Karma.” E sumiu-se por entre um cortinado de púrpura desbotada.
Quando, meia-hora depois, já me dispunha a abalar para outra freguesia, surge a velhota novamente, agora com um ferro de engomar dos antigos, cheio de brasas incandescentes. Mandou-me entrar e seguiu-me silenciosamente, como quem desliza. A sala estava parcamente mobilada; apenas duas cadeiras e uma mesa de tosco pinho, no centro da qual se destacava uma luzidia bola de futebol apoiada numa base dourada.
Reclinado na cadeira, um cinquentão de longas barbas grisalhas e olhos negros coruscantes fitava-me com o seu olhar magnético e, sem nada dizer, parecia estudar-me desdenhosamente.
Interrompi o longo silêncio timidamente: “Gosto muito do seu turbante...”
Num ápice, o mago retirou de debaixo da túnica não sei que pós e lançou-os sobre o brasido que a mulher deixara no chão, provocando uma fumarada impenetrável, enquanto proferia cavas e misteriosas palavras.
A ladainha foi interrompida dramaticamente por um violento acesso de tosse que prostrou o esotérico por terra. Abri a janela e ajudei-o a recuperar.
“Tenho que me deixar destas coisas ou ainda arranjo um problema pulmonar. O Diabo é que as pessoas só se impressionam com estes truques de pacotilha.”
Retorqui-lhe: “Poupe-me o folclore e vamos ao que interessa. A minha curiosidade vai toda para a prestação da selecção nacional no Mundial 2002.”
“Ah, caro amigo, está a falar com a pessoa indicada. Queira sentar-se.”
“Diga-me uma coisa; esta bola não deveria ser de cristal?”
“Ui, custam os olhos da cara! Além disso, esta é melhor para o negócio do desporto. São os meus melhores clientes. É malta muito supersticiosa, sabia? Esta bola é uma ideia de um sobrinho meu, que anda em Marketing. Muito bem, perscrutemos então a bola...”
Momentaneamente, a sala começou a escurecer e o esférico começou a libertar um brilho verde iridiscente. Para meu assombro, começam a surgir números: primeiro, o 3; depois, o 7; a seguir, o 10; e, por fim, o 21.
“Que significa isto?”
“É obvio, não vê? Nesta sequência de números está a fórmula do sucesso da selecção. Eu sigo o ensinamento de Pitágoras, que disse: «tudo é formado de acordo com o Número.» Só temos que os saber ler. Vejamos;
O 3 é o resultado do 1, que é o céu, e do 2, que é a terra. Significa a perfeição e a totalidade, como, por exemplo, a Santíssima Trindade.”
Esta é a terceira vez que participamos num Mundial, na primeira vez foi o céu, com grande sucesso do Eusébio e companhia, na segunda, os Infantes voaram mais baixinho, junto à terra. Agora, será a vitória final.”
“Mas - interrompi - quem enverga esse número é o Abel Xavier e não lhe vejo grande perfeição. Por causa da mão dele, foi-se o Europeu.”
“Meu caro, o caminho da perfeição é uma escada em caracol com muitos degraus partidos. O número 3 é o número de Deus, e a mão de Abel desta vez marcará um golo. Será uma reedição da famosa “mão de Deus” interpretada por Maradona. Aliás, aquela cor de cabelo é precisamente para isso, para ofuscar a visão do árbitro.”
“Então e o 7?”
“Sete são as esferas celestes e os graus de perfeição, assim como as maravilhas do mundo. Sete serão os jogos até à final, onde Figo, o 7, atingirá o seu maior esplendor. O 10 é o regresso à unidade, depois dos 9 algarismos, é Rui Costa, motor anímico e estratega da equipa. 21 é o símbolo da maturidade, embora esteja personificado na juventude do ponta-de-lança da Fiorentina. É um fechar de 3 ciclos de 7 (os jogos até à final) e simboliza a plenitude, o objectivo conseguido. Será Nuno Gomes a marcar o golo que garantirá a Taça! E há mais, caro amigo! Some todos os algarismos e faça a prova dos nove.”
“3 e 7, são 10, mais 1, 2 e 1, são 14; noves fora, 5.”
“Deve também juntar o zero, para fazer 50.”
“E que significa o 50?”
“É a conta, perspicaz cliente. Deve-me 50 euros.”
“E como é que eu sei que tudo isso é verdade?”
“A verdade vai começar a manifestar-se nos seus dedos do pé. Não a sente?”

Acordei com uma dor aguda no dedão do pé. Maldito gato, que não perde o hábito de me despertar desta maneira.

Qualquer semelhança entre o sonho e a realidade é pura coincidência. Será?

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